Maternity photoshoot Tallinn
Liv's London, Liv's Tallinn, Parenthood

Emakssaamisest Londonis ja Tallinnas

Mul oli plaanis seda blogipostitust palju varem kirjutada but life happened. 🙂 SĂŒnnitasin ja kuu hiljem lĂ”in ka oma unenĂ”ustamise ettevĂ”tte ning beebi kĂ”rvalt töötamine on ĂŒks ÀÀrmiselt ambitsioonikas ettevĂ”tmine. Lisaks on vanem laps tihti lasteaiast kodus ja endale aja leidmine ei ole alati lihtne. KĂ”ige raskem on olnud sisu luua blogipostitusteks, sest need nĂ”uavad keskendumist, aga seda ongi viimasel ajal kĂ”ige raskem teha olnud.

Kuid siit see tuleb!

Pikka aega mĂ”tlesin, et me oleme selles ‘One and done‘ klubis, aga Eestisse kolides mĂ”tted muutusid ning tĂ”epoolest otsustasime, et soovime olla neljaliikmeline pere. Pluss kass Lucius, meie esimene beebi.

Kahe sĂŒnnituse vahele jĂ€i umbes tĂ€pselt neli aastat ning esimene on mul sama vĂ€rskelt meeles kui teine ja seepĂ€rast otsustasingi raseduse jĂ€lgimisi, sĂŒnnitusi ja sĂŒnnitusjĂ€rgset hooldust vĂ”rdleva postituse teha – kus parem kogemus oli, Londonis vĂ”i Tallinnas.

Kogukonna tunne

Kuna nĂŒĂŒd oli tegemist teise rasedusega ning ma ei leidnud, et vajaksin infoloenguid, siis ei oska kahjuks vĂ”rrelda, millist infot siin jagatakse. Olen teadlik Perekooli loengutest, aga ma ei tea, kas need toimuvad COVID-19’i ajastul vaid online vĂ”i ka nĂ€ost-nĂ€kku. Londonis oli meil vĂ”imalik NHS’i (National Health Service) poolt korraldatud tasuta pereloengutel kĂ€ia, aga sobivaid kuupĂ€evi ei olnud saadaval, sellepĂ€rast otsustasime tasulise koolituse jaoks. Seitse loengut katsid teemasid, nagu esmaabi, valuvaigistid sĂŒnnitusel, mida sĂŒnnitusel oodata, rinnaga toitmine, beebi vannitamine jne. KĂ”ik elementaarne, aga mĂ€rkasin, et unest vĂ€ga ei rÀÀgitud ja mul ei olnud eriti hea ettekujutus vastsĂŒndinu unest. Sellegi poolest tundsime end ĂŒsnagi hĂ€sti ettevalmistatud. See maksis ÂŁ250 ja sinna kuulus ka kĂ”ikide paaridega kokkusaamine kolme kuu pĂ€rast. Meid oli kokku kĂŒmme paari ning see oli ĂŒks tore kamp, kellega jĂ€in hiljem ka tihedalt suhtlema. Siiamaani hoian ĂŒhendust ĂŒhe emaga.

Eestis olen mĂ€rganud, et on olemas hĂ€sti aktiivsed Facebook’i beebigrupid. Isegi kuulun augustikuubeebide gruppi ning meil on tĂ€itsa tore seltskond, vĂ”rdleme, kurdame, jagame nĂ”uandeid jne. Kokku ei ole saanud, aga vahel ei ole see isegi vajalik.

Siin ei ole vĂ”itjat, kuna ei oska pĂ€ris ĂŒks-ĂŒhele vĂ”rrelda. Samuti olen pĂ€ris kindel, et COVID-i ajal on igal pool sellised teenused kolinud rohkem internetti ning nĂ€ost-nĂ€kku koolitusi ja vahetut suhtlemist on kindlasti tehtud palju vĂ€hem.

Raseduse jÀlgimine

SĂŒsteem ise on sarnane – rasestudes jÀÀd Ă€mmaemanda hoole alla, kes sind umbes igakuiselt nĂ€ha tahab. Ultrahelisid tehakse sama palju, verd ja uriini tahetakse ka sama palju. Mis mulle Eestis rohkem meeldis, oli see, et kĂ”iki andmeid hoitakse pigem digitaalselt kui paberkandjal. Londonis oli mul suur A4 mapp paberilehtedega, mida tuli igale vastuvĂ”tule kaasa vĂ”tta, Eestis piisas vaid sellest pisikesest rasedaraamatust ning muu oli kĂ”ik arvutist nĂ€ha. Samuti tundus pĂ€ris asjalik uriinipotsikute kaasaandmine ning seda sai kodus koguda, mitte kabinetis kohapeal, nagu Londonis seda tegema pidin.

Eestis meeldis mulle ka see, et kĂ€isin alati sama Ă€mmaemanda juures, vĂ€lja arvatud siis, kui ta ise puhkusel oli. Londonis oli mul iga visiidi ajal vÔÔras nĂ€gu ees. Samuti kĂ€isin ma vahel haiglas, kus sĂŒnnitama pidin (St. Mary’s Hospital Paddington’is), aga vahel hoopis mĂ”nes kliinikus sama postiindeksiga piirkonnas. Suurlinna ‘vĂ”lud’ ehk ringikĂ€imist ning ajakulu oli muidugi rohkem.

Arvel olin ITK-s ja sĂŒnnitasin Pelgus, kuid vĂ”tsin endale eraĂ€mmaemanda, sest ma olin kahjuks kuulnud liiga palju lugusid, et on vĂ”imalik sattuda natuke ‘old school‘ lĂ€henemisega Ă€mmaka otsa, kes kipub sĂ”imama ja solvama, sest vanasti oli sĂŒnnitamine ju hĂ€bitegu, eks… Ok, ma natuke liialdan, aga sĂŒnnitamiseks ei tahtnud ma mingit vĂ”imalust ega riski, et keegi vĂ”iks minuga natuke kĂ€rsitult vĂ”i karmilt kĂ€ituda. Tahtsin olla kindel, et minuga on keegi, kes alati mu soovidega arvestab.

Õnneks kulgesid mĂ”lemad rasedused ilma komplikatsioonideta ning millegi ĂŒle muretseda ei tulnud.

Siin kategoorias vĂ”idab siiski Tallinn! 🙂

SĂŒnnitus ise ja sĂŒnnitusosakonnas olemine

MĂ”lemad sĂŒnnitused olid ÀÀrmiselt sarnased – vette ja vĂ€ga kiiresti, umbes 4-5 tundi. Kui esimene oli selline suhteliselt textbook delivery – veed tulid kodus Ă€ra, kiire haiglasseminek, avatus 4cm ja sĂŒndis tĂ€pselt oma tĂ€htajal, siis teine oli vĂ€ga ootamatu – poiss sĂŒndis tĂ€pselt nĂ€dal varem ja veed ei tulnudki Ă€ra, kuid haiglasse saabudes oli avatus samamoodi 4cm ning sĂŒnnitus arenes kiirelt edasi.

Londonis olid mul juhised sellised, et kui tunnen valusid, siis annan endast mĂ€rku sĂŒnnitososakonda helistades ja olukorda kirjeldades. See number oli mul kiirvalikus ning kui ma viimase kĂ”ne ajal korralikult rÀÀkida ei saanud ning pidin tuhude möödumist ootama, siis kĂ€sti meil kohale tulla. Meeles on ehmunud kass, kes mind suurte silmadega jĂ€lgis, kiire kottide kaasahaaramine ja valulik taksosĂ”it.

Mulle sattus ÀÀrmiselt vahva iirlannast Ă€mmaemand ning abiks oli veel ĂŒks nooruke inglanna. Sain hakkama gas and air‘iga ja ma suutsin isegi nalja teha, et hingan nagu Darth Vader. Ajataju oli kadunud ja seinalolevat suurt kella ma palju ei jĂ€lginud. Kui tĂŒtar aga sĂŒndis, siis esimene asi, mis ma kĂŒsisin, oli “is it past midnight?” 😀 Oli oluline, et ta sĂŒnniks 1. septembril (oma tĂ€htajal), mitte varem, sest Inglismaal on koolimineku vanusepiir just siis (Eestis on see oktoobri lĂ”pus vist?).

Kui ta mul rinnal oli ja mind Ă”mmeldi, siis toodi mulle tass teed ja toast. See oli maailma parim eine sel momendil! So British 😉.

Tuba, kuhu meid paigutati, oli kohe ĂŒle koridori. En suite, lai double voodi, kĂŒlmkapp, nagu 3* hotell. Lihtne, aga praktiline ja mugav. Arstid, Ă€mmaemandad ja koristajad sebisid vaikselt ning diskreetselt ringi, mul oli ÀÀrmiselt rahulik ja turvaline olla. Beebit kaaluti meie toas ja ma ei pidanud teda kuhugi koridori peale kaalu peale kĂ€rutama nagu Tallinnas. Samuti tehti muud protseduurid, ka kuulmistest kohe seal meie toas.

Haiglasse jĂ€ime vaid selleks esimeseks ööks, mil ta sĂŒndis ning jĂ€rgnevaks pĂ€evaks, kui kĂŒsiti juba, kas tahaksime koju minna. Kuna meil oli kĂ”ik hĂ€sti, siis otsustasime tĂ”esti koju Ă€ra minna ja teadsime, et Ă€mmaemand ja imetamisnĂ”ustaja tulevad meid ka kodus vaatama. TĂŒtar oli sĂŒndides 2,8kg, mis on pisut vĂ€he, aga mitte kordagi ei andnud keegi mĂ”ista, et ta on alakaaluline vms. ja teda oleks parem haiglas natuke kauem jĂ€lgida. Pealegi oli september siis vĂ€ga suvine, haiglas palav, ning soovisime pigem kodus taastuda. Kassi ei tahtnud ka liiga pikalt hoidjaga jĂ€tta.

***

Tallinnas sĂŒnnituse eel helistasin kohe oma Ă€mmaemandale, kui tundsin valusid. TĂ€htaeg oli alles nĂ€dala pĂ€rast ja arvasin, et need ei pruugi veel Ă”iged tuhud olla. Kui need aga intensiivsemaks lĂ€ksid ja juba iga 5-10 minuti tagant korduma hakkasid, siis kutsusin oma Ă”e kohale, kes jĂ€i me tĂŒtrega koju ning leppisin Ă€mmaemandaga kokku, et hakkame Pelgulinna sĂ”itma. Temagi oli kohe teel ning saime sĂŒnnitusosakonnas kokku. SĂŒnnitustuba oli Ă”dus ja hĂ€mar. Suundusin peatselt vanni ning paari tunni pĂ€rast oligi kĂ”ik lĂ€bi. Ei kasutanud isegi naerugaasi. Kui poiss sĂŒndis, kordasin vahetpidamata ‘He’s here! He’s really here!‘, sest see oli kuidagi nii uskumatu, kui kiiresti ta siia maailma tuli! Mulle meeldis, kui rahulikult ma sain pikalt puhata, kui ta mu rinnal oli ja mind taas Ă”mmeldi.

Tuba, kuhu ise jĂ€in kaheks ööks (mees lĂ€ks peale esimest ööd koju tĂŒtre juurde), oleks vĂ”inud parem olla. WC oli koridori peal, ometi olid toas olemas kraanikauss ja duĆĄĆĄ. Kas sinna ruumi oli raske WCd lisada? See oli nii haige. JĂ€tsin oma beebi jĂ€relvalveta, et koridoris kibekiirelt vetsus kĂ€ia. Ei meeldinud ka osa personalist. Teisel pĂ€eval kĂ€is mind vaatamas ĂŒks noorevĂ”itu Ă€mmaemand, kes oli pisut ĂŒleoleva suhtumisega, samuti oli tema see, kes enne lahkumist palus, et ma oma rindu pigistaks, veendumaks, et mul tĂ”epoolest piima tuleb. Ă„Ă€rmiselt alandav moment mu jaoks.

Poisi sĂŒnnikaal oli ka 2.8kg – ju me oskame vaid pisikesi beebisid teha – ja sain teada, et kui beebi kaal on alla 3kg, siis hoitakse haiglas kolm pĂ€eva. Ma palusin teisel pĂ€eval, et Ă€kki peale teist ööd ikka saan koju, et mul on imetamisega hĂ€sti ja me kosuksime paremini kodus, kus on mees ja mu laps, mitte haiglas, kus teiste beebid ka nutavad ja ma ise ĂŒldse magada ei saa. Loomulikult ta kaal langes selle paari pĂ€evaga, mis on tĂ€iesti tavaline, aga ma veensin nii lastearsti kui Ă€mmaemandaid, et saan kodus hakkama. NĂ€rvitsesin teise pĂ€eva varahommikul seal koridori peal teda kaaludes, aga lastearst lubas meid reedel vastumeelselt siiski koju ja ĂŒtles, et kindlasti tulge esmaspĂ€eval kontrolli. EsmaspĂ€eval oli ta kaal pisut ĂŒle sĂŒnnikaalust, nii et meie haiglas hoidmine, kus ma migreeni saatel oma beebi eest hoolitsesin, ei oleks olnud parem variant. Ma mĂ€letan, et kordasin, ta on mu teine laps, ma tean, mida ma teen… ma tahan koju mehe juurde. Tal ei olnud ju ometi midagi muud viga, kui vaid pisut vĂ€ike sĂŒndides…

Siin vĂ”idab kindlalt London just sĂŒnnitusosakonna personali positiivse ja austava suhtumise pĂ€rast, vaatamata sellele, et mu Tallinna eraĂ€mmaemand sĂŒnnituse juures oli super!

SĂŒnnitusjĂ€rgne hooldus

Londonis saadeti meid koju lapse ‘punase raamatuga‘, kuhu mĂ€rgitakse tema areng kooliealiseks saamiseni ja ema jaoks paksu infokaustikuga, mis sisaldas infot beebi eest hoolitsemise kohta, kaasaarvatud imetamise, turvalise magamiskeskkonna ja isegi enda vaimse tervise kohta. Anti ka terve lehekĂŒlg telefoninumbreid, kuhu helistada, kui tunned millegi ĂŒle muret – nĂ€iteks beebi nutab liiga palju vĂ”i kui mĂ€rkad endal depressiooni ilminguid. Lappasin seda infot esimeste nĂ€dalate jooksul vĂ€ga hoolikalt ning leidsin selle ÀÀrmiselt kasulikuna ja isegi, kui konkreetset vajadust ei olnud, siis teadsin, et abi on tĂ”enĂ€oliselt lĂ€hedal, kui kuhugi helistan.

Londonis ja kogu Inglismaal hoolitsetakse emade ja beebide eest mĂ€rksa paremini, siinne postnatal care aga jĂ€tab kohati soovida. Kuna mul on nĂŒĂŒd tekkinud vĂ”rdlusmoment, siis olen Ă”nnelik, et ei ole siin esmakordne ema. Inglismaal on NHS-i poolt korraldatud Ă€mmaemanda ja imetamisnĂ”ustaja koduvisiidid ja igal nĂ€dalal on ema oma beebiga oodatud Health Visitor-i vastuvĂ”tule (pĂ”himĂ”tteliselt beebikliinik). IganĂ€dalaselt tekib vĂ”imalus nii enda kui beebi tervise ĂŒle pĂ€rida, nĂ”u ja soovitusi antakse mĂ”lema kohta, olgu selleks mure enda vaimse tervise ĂŒle vĂ”i miks beebi kaka roheline on
 Eestis ootab sind peale sĂŒnnitust ĂŒks lastearsti visiit ning peale seda eeldatakse vaid, et kĂ€iksid kord kuud perearsti juures beebit kaalumas. Leian, et seda on vĂ€rskele emale kahetsusvÀÀrselt vĂ€he. Teise lapse emana oskan ma pisiasjade pĂ€rast enam mitte muretseda, aga esimese beebiga ma ei osanud hinnata, mis on tĂŒhine mure, seega vĂ”imalus nii tihti professionaalset tuge leida oli julgustav. Ma kĂ€isin kuu aega igal nĂ€dalal imetamisnĂ”ustaja juures, tavaliselt kĂ€is seal koos neli-viis ema, istusime kĂ”ik koos, beebid rinnal, nĂ”ustaja kontrollis vĂ”tet, jĂ”ime teed ja vĂ”rdlesime, kui vĂ€he keegi maganud oli. Ma ei tea, kas sellist semutsemist Eesti emade vahel on


Samuti olen mĂ€rganud teiste emade juttu kuulates vĂ”i lugedes, et perearstid soovitavad liiga kergekĂ€eliselt piimaasendaja andmist, kui selleks isegi vajadust ei ole ning see seab imetamise ohtu. Esmasel emal on alati mure, kas tal on piisavalt piima, kui aga hakata rpa-d andma ja beebi saab sellest pigem kĂ”hu tĂ€is, siis piimatootlus kahjuks vĂ€henebki. Ma ei ole kindel, mis kasvukĂ”veraid siin kĂŒll jĂ€lgitakse, aga mu tĂŒtar kosus samas tempos – pigem seal keskmise allpool – aga mitte kunagi ei mainitud mulle, et vĂ”iksin rpa-d juurde anda.

Siin vÔidab hands down Inglismaa ja mis see lÔpuskoor siis ikkagi sai? Kisub pisut Londoni kasuks.

Ma kordan veel, Ônneks ei ole ma siin esmakordne ema, aga see on vaid minu kogemus ja arvamus. Usun, et paljud vaidleks osa punktide juures vastu, aga nii on ju alati, kogemused ja arvamused on erinevad.

toxic positivity
Health

Toxic positivity

I’m not a negative person. I really am not. I’m someone who normally prepares for the worst because if the outcome is slightly more positive then there’s more the reason to be happy about it. I’m a pragmatist. I’m a realist. My two feet are always firmly on the ground. This however doesn’t make my outlook on life negative. I take time to smell the flowers, feel the wind in my hair, the sun in my face, I do that sort of stuff too and it comes to me naturally. But I also admit that it’s OK not to be OK every now and then.

A lot of people are going to disagree with what I’m going to say and that’s also OK. We’re not all wired the same way, we deal with our problems differently and what keeps someone motivated and makes them feel good may feel like a waste of time to someone else. So, here goes…

I noticed it a lot more during the last year – and it’s no coincidence that it happened to be the pandemic lockdown year – toxic positivity. 2020 was a pretty shitty year, right, and 2021 is no walk in the park for a lot of people either. A lot of people started sharing and overloading their social media feeds with positive quotes, mantras, affirmations, tips to overcome depression, how to practice gratitude etc. etc. As if to try to negate the negative feelings lots of other people may have been or still are processing. As someone who also suffered last winter for various reasons – I had to make some tough decisions in my career going forward, I found out I was pregnant, which I wasn’t exactly thrilled about (that is no longer the case, it just took my a bit longer to adjust and get excited about), I was sad about not being able to travel to the UK and see my husband’s side of the family, I felt the utter shock and grief when finding out a friend had taken his own life… – I was getting seriously sick of those overly positive quotes and suggestions. I’m sure those people meant well but I preferred to be upset and ignore the positivity for a while. I didn’t want to brush off the sadness that had overtaken me. I wanted to process it all and cry.

I didn’t experience them all myself but here are some examples of toxic positivity so you get a better idea what really annoyed me:

  • a meme telling you to just change your outlook and be happy
  • downplaying the seriousness of the pandemic by telling people to go outside, enjoy the fresh spring air, and all will be well
  • telling someone to snap out of their grief or suffering after a devastating loss
  • saying “but look on the bright side”, “be grateful for what you have”, “everything happens for a reason” or “it could be worse”
  • sharing “good vibes only” posts on social media
  • urging people to develop new skills or improve their fitness during the pandemic

I mean, the last one… I know too many parents who really suffered with working from home while home schooling their kids and then seeing those positive faces on Instagram feed showing off their new bod, that they’ve finished their 50th book that month or how they learnt a new language while in lockdown… there are too many examples. Bloody well done for leaving many other people feeling inadequate or ashamed because they just made through the day while feeling hopeless, lonely or depressed.

At their best, the above things I listed, are harmless and told by people with little empathy or just not wanting to deal with someone’s difficult emotions. At their worst, some of these positive statements come across as shaming and blaming people for not choosing to be happy.

You really don’t have to have a positive response to everything in life immediately. It’s important to recognise the intense negative emotions and deal with them first. Toxic positivity encourages people to ignore those difficult feelings, potentially even intensifying the power of them and making them feel bad about themselves for having those negative thoughts.

So, if, like me, you prefer to wallow in your own sadness for a while, allowing all the emotions to wash over you, without plastering a smile on your face and admitting that you’re having a tough time, then kudos. Don’t feel guilty. Unfollow or ignore the ones sharing daily motivational quotes if they’re not helping you. If it’s not your style, don’t beat yourself up. Somehow you’ll pull yourself through though, with or without the help of your family, friends or professionals, and you’ll know that you did it with dealing with the hard stuff first.

Share some love or hate for this post, you either agree, or disagree with it!

Beebide unenÔustaja Tallinnas Uneliiva Livia beebide unevajadus holistiline unenÔustamine
Liv's Tallinn

UnenÔustaja Uneliiva Livia

Mul ei ole aega olnud selle blogiga ĂŒldse tegeleda, sest tegevusi jagub nii mitmele rindele ning miski peab kannatama… Nimelt, olen vahepeal oma unenĂ”ustamise kodulehe valmis saanud!

Beebide ja vÀikelaste holistiline unenÔustamine

Minu missiooniks on ilma unekoolita aidata beebidel ja vÀikelastel paremini magada, sest uni on bioloogiline oskus, mida ei ole vaja Ôpetada. Soovin eelkÔige normaliseerida beebide und ja julgustada vanemaid oma vaistu kuulama.

Maternity photoshoot
Health, Parenthood

It’s ok not to love being pregnant

I don’t really have time to blog these days, if you’re following me on Instagram then I’ve explained in length how much I’ve got going on at the same time. Shortly – I’m contracting on a marketing project and studying at the same time, more specifically finishing my holistic sleep coaching studies. The deadline for submitting my assignment is looming and it’s all go-go-go here! While not really having time to write anything ‘for myself”/for the blog, there are some emotions to do with my second pregnancy that I want somehow recorded and I decided to do it on this platform and I’m hoping it also resonates with some other mothers.

Continue reading “It’s ok not to love being pregnant”
Vihula mois spa
Parenthood, Travel

My second time ever spending a night away from our daughter

What?! might be your reaction to this but let me explain. While we lived in London, away from our families, our support network consisted of close friends and a babysitter who we occasionally used when we wanted to head out for a dinner just the two of us. And that didn’t happen very often at all, she was more of a back-up when I had some work commitments and neither of us was able to be with her during the day. So, naturally, she came with us everywhere we went and travelled and it never occurred to us that we could have left her home with our nanny for a night or two if we felt the need to escape. Maybe we just didn’t need an escape… 🙂

Continue reading “My second time ever spending a night away from our daughter”
Raising a bilingual child
Parenthood

Raising a bilingual child – 3 myths

While I was studying child psychology, one module, speech development, was of particular interest to me because we’re raising a bilingual child – she speaks Estonian and English. I did a lot more extracurricular studying for that module and would like to share some myths out there and also draw some real-life examples from our own lives.

Myth #1 – Bilingual children have speech delays

Some children do start speaking later so there are no hard and fast rules they are the bilingual ones and even if there is a delay, it’s just temporary and by school age the differences usually even out. Just so you know what the speech milestones are, here’s a useful table I found. I’m sure there a different versions out there and not all can be 100%, for example, she can name the main colours and counts to 20 in English and 10 in Estonian at three years of age.

Now, speaking from experience, I do believe our daughter’s speech is slightly delayed compared to her peers. Her English speech isn’t as clear or fluent as her friends’ in London and she’s only picking up Estonian phrases since she started kindergarten when she turned three this autumn. I’ve spoken in Estonian to her since her birth but she repeated or remembered only a small portion of words but I’m confident that because I was so insistent in speaking in my mother tongue, she has a perfect understanding of it. And often this is the first huge step towards mastering a new language. I wasn’t too worried when she started state kindergarten in Estonia, I knew she would understand everything, it’s the other way around that concerned me a little, but turns out it’s been going quite smoothly. She has new words, phrases and songs weekly, if not daily! Whether I understand everything she says is a different matter. Also, rather than switch between two languages, she often mixes them up and creates the funniest sentences and she speaks with an accent!

Here’s a wild thought – could her slight delay be because Estonian is such a hard language to learn? I’m really not making this up because according to research based on Foreign Service Institute’s rankings it’s the most difficult Latin alphabet based language to learn for a native English speaker but of course, learning a language is subjective, it also depends on one’s memory capacity and motivation. Still, just saying… 😉

Myth #2 – Bilingual children mix the two languages

Most do while they sort out both languages in their heads. Normally, one of the languages has a stronger influence and the minority language will inevitably borrow words from the majority language vocabulary but again, experts agree on this, that it’s temporary – as the vocabulary improves in both languages, the mixing disappears.

Even bilingual adults mix the languages and I’m a living example. After being abroad for 16 years I speak a dreadful Estonglish, quite often I struggle with the Estonian equivalents and just use English words instead but I’m getting much better as I’m more exposed to Estonian again.

As I already mentioned, her Estonian has come by leaps and bounds since starting Estonian kindergarten and I’m glad I didn’t put her in an international one. The aim while we’re living here is for her to pick up Estonian better than I could have ever taught her. I’m now really curious to see (hear) how her speech develops and at what point she will naturally switch between speaking in English to my husband and in Estonian to me. Until then, I get this: “I magab here”, “I kĂ€isin pissil.”, “It mahub!” and so on…

Myth #3 – It’s too late to raise your child bilingual when they’re older

Yes, it’s true that learning a second language is easier for children under 10, and even easier for children under five, compared with how much effort it takes for adults. Studies show that after puberty, a new language is stored in a separate area of the brain, so a child has to translate or go through their native language as a path to the new language. But it’s never too late! It’s just easier to start earlier.

We are raising a bilingual child by choice. I spoke to her in Estonian before we knew we were moving here so I always knew I’d want her to speak this unique sounding language. A tiny population uses it but would you not want to stand out just because of it? Also, being bilingual has some real advantages – bi- and multi-lingual people are better at observing, multi-tasking, and problem solving. They have a larger working memory even for tasks that don’t require language skills.

If you only speak one language at home but can command another one (something that isn’t taught widely at schools) very well, why not introduce it to your child before they pick up a third or fourth language at school? Here’s a tip though – you need to be very consistent and having them watching TV in Spanish and hoping something will rub off won’t quite cut it. It’s good to have some structure through your daily conversations that are meaningful and connected to real life situations. Story time is a good option and learning songs or playing games in another language as well.

Some fun ideas and strategies for raising a bilingual child.

And some further reading to those interested – a great article on what clinicians need to know about bilingual development.

To have another language is to have another soul.’

Charlemagne

Tallinn Christmas market
Liv's Tallinn

No Christmas market in Tallinn this year

Last week the news broke that Tallinn Christmas market will not be held for obvious reasons and while many people thought it wasn’t a big loss mainly due to its over commercialised appeal with the same vendors year on year I’m extremely sad we won’t be able to experience it fully this winter. I also do kind of agree with them and while I wouldn’t actually buy any Christmas presents from there and it really is overpriced, it holds a magical place in my heart.

Continue reading “No Christmas market in Tallinn this year”
Torela mÀngutuba
Liv's Tallinn

Torela mÀngutuba

Me saabusime Eestisse umbes aasta aega tagasi ja peaaegu nii kaua oleme ka sellises vahvas mĂ€ngutoas kĂ€inud nagu Torela! TĂ”si kĂŒll, viimasel ajal ei ole enam sinna jĂ”udnud, sest plika kĂ€ib nĂŒĂŒd lasteaias, aga sellegi poolest plaanin varsti teha talle vaba pĂ€eva, et saaksime mĂ€nguhommikut taas kĂŒlastada.

Vaata vÀikest galeriid me esimesest korrast novembris kuni selle aasta suveni:

MĂ€letan ĂŒhte varajast novembrihommikut, kui mĂ”tlesin, mida temaga jĂ€rjekordselt peale hakata. Rentisime Kalamajas korterit ja hakkasin igapĂ€evasest jalutuskĂ€igust Balti Jaama turule ja Telliskivi Loomelinnakusse Ă€ra tĂŒdinema, teisisĂ”nu olime hakanud oma uue piirkonnaga Ă€ra harjuma ja oli vaja leida uusi lĂ”bustusi. Kiire Google’i otsing tĂ”i esile mitu lĂ€hedalasuvat mĂ€ngutuba ning esimeseks osutus Torela, kuhu ma tol hommikul ka otsustasin temaga kĂ€rutada. Ma ei osanud arvata, et sellest me uus lemmik hangout saab!

Mulle meeldis, et hinna sees on kohv ning suupisted. Ma ei tea mitte ĂŒhtegi ema, kes ĂŒtleks Ă€ra hommikukohvist, olgu see esimene, teine vĂ”i juba koguni kolmas tass (no judging!). Londoni soft play ruumides selline asi tavapĂ€rane ei olnud, ikka tuli toidu eest juurde maksta, kui selline vĂ”imalus ĂŒldse esines. Tihtipeale tĂ”in ma kaasa ka oma sĂŒlearvuti, et asju ajada ning need paar tunnikest vĂ”isid pĂ€ris asjalikult mööduda. Vahel aga veetsin terve hommiku temaga pĂ”lvili pĂ”randal mĂ€ngides ja teiste emadega jutustades. MĂ€ngimiseks on seal palju huvitavaid vĂ”imalusi, tĂŒtre lemmikuks kujunes vist kööginurk ja pallimeri ja mulle meeldis Duplodest maju ehitada. 🙂

KĂŒlastasime ka mitmeid teisi mĂ€ngutubasid, aga Torela mĂ€nguhommikutel kĂ€imisest sai meie uus rutiin. Meile sobis see asukoht – kui me lĂ”puks oma korterisse kolisime, siis olime siiski piisavalt lĂ€hedal, et soojemal ajal sain isegi rattaga sinna sĂ”ita, ja mulle meeldis, et olin perenaistega sĂ”pradeks saanud. Meil ei olnud mitte kuskil mujal nii sooja vastuvĂ”ttu ja ma arvan, et see sai ka peamiseks pĂ”hjuseks, miks seal mĂ”nel nĂ€dalal lausa kaks korda kĂ€isin. Ju oli ka minul vaja uut harjumust uues linnas kohanemiseks ning Torela aitas meid just sellega. AitĂ€h, et olemas olete ja aitasite meil sisse elada!

Minge ka uudistama!

https://www.facebook.com/Torelamangutuba

https://www.instagram.com/torelamangutuba/

You can't pour from an empty cup
Liv's Tallinn, Parenthood

Mothers, don’t be afraid to ask for help

When I moved back to Estonia last year I noticed lots of mum mentioning how tired they were. At the same time people looked at me funny when I put my then 2-year old to bed at 7-8pm. That’s how ‘selfish’ I am, because I want to live my own life too.

Continue reading “Mothers, don’t be afraid to ask for help”
Parents should learn child psychology
Parenthood

How you can use child psychology to understand your kid better

I’ve just finished child psychology studies and received Level 4 Diploma via distance learning from the UK. I studied it so I could understand my child better. It gave me a good foundation and further interest to keep exploring some subjects deeper.

Instead of training children to meet the expectations of adults, we should be training adults to meet the psychological, emotional, and developmental needs of children.” – Zoe Tolman

Continue reading “How you can use child psychology to understand your kid better”